Mindgames

Its been some time since i have found the solace to write.. the essay took up all my energy last week... & now back in blogbusiness..

I have been reading Mitch Albom: Tuesdays with Morrie followed by Five People you meet in Heaven. 

I always thought I wouldnt much like to read spiritually elevating books. But then my dear friend Doc introduced me to Albom with For one more Day  and I have been hooked. Also Jun had given me Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance and then suggested Lila (which i shall read shortly). I have found all these books quite vocal in their thoughts and messages.

I do not want to review them, for they can only be understood and read when one is ready to accept their train of thought. Else, they will seem either gibberish or too soft. 

One thing that has struck me: One always values more, what one never achieves. 

I speak this in context of our current life, where we always run after things, and take them for granted after we have attained them. I talk not just of work, academics or materialistic things. I feel the same equally about relationships: friends, lovers and even family.

For those who are away from them, lost them or are separated from them, it is an exercise in patience, a daily tearing apart of the mind where lonliness only seems to increase the dark feelings. 

But for the things we attain, we quickly set our goals on the next thing, and forget that we must relish our achievement first. We should be quick & elastic, for the world today demands it. But one cannot be carried away by everything that is the trend today. After all, general opinion is seldom right. 

I have had a few achievements lately, but I have not found the excitement in them that I should have. I realize that they seem futile or irrelevant, not because they were too fickle, but because I accepted them too soon, and moved on to the next step. The new battle takes up all my energy and leaves me with little time to remember that I have recently done something to make me and all my wellwishers proud.

When I reflect this on the general world stage, I find it true for all things. Not just work, I may take some relationships for granted, not realizing how hard the other person is working to maintain it or to keep me supported. I may ignore my friends, because I know they will be there when I need them. I do not share time with my family, because I think I am doing something too important to waste time in the smaller merriments of life. 

But when I look back, I think I am missing the big picture. Who will share my achievement, who will laud me, who will keep me floating when I am in trouble? I feel taking all these people for granted is the bane of our modern lifestyle. I remember the earlier days, when we used to share each & everything with friends, family & those we love. Today, we are running too fast to even reflect on our actions, leave apart sharing our life. 

& from here, when i move on to the next stage of what is it that I strive for? I realize that I strive for all those things that I do not have. While I have stated above that one need not do it, as one can be happy with what one has, this other feeling has a distinct angle of its own. I recently saw this ad for an insurance company which I will try to describe:

A long haired college youth is walking on the road and sees another dude on a huge bike, which he would like to have. The biker then sees a girl behind another guy on a plain bike, female company he does not have. The girl on the bike sees a young mother with a child, something she yearns to be. The young mother sees a bald rich man buying an expensive piece of jewellery that she wants for herself. The rich man buys the jewellery and sits in his car. When his car waits at an intersection, the long haired college youth passes by and the rich man longs for such well endowed hair growth.

The story is familiar with our life, and it struck a chord with me. We always respect what we do not have, and forget what we have. So, if we are so incapable of changing ourselves to NOT enjoy what we have, should we then leave what we yearn for most, unattained? 

Will getting more money make me happy? or should i be poor & rather keep my respect for every new thing that i buy with each hard saving?

Should I ask the girl of my dreams to marry me? or should i never attain her? So that i always keep my love for her intact, and never take her for granted, because achieving her may make me get used to her in some time.

Will making more & more friends keep me company? or should i NOT make any more friends, so that i always respect & give importance to those I already have, in effect forming a closer bond with my pals.

I can ask many such questions about life. If you see them as objectives with only YES or NO for an answer, you will not agree with me. But if you take your time to reflect on them, you will come to understand how we value things, relations and life in general today. 

We only value what we DO NOT have. I would like to change this perception and find happiness in everthing we have or keep having, because the way forward is always the right way. But, unfortunately, if we are unable to change our current mindset, I would say (rather offensively) that we do not deserve to move forward. And, that we are better off valuing what we have.

I don't want to end up a bald rich potbellied man yearning for a dense patch over my head. I would rather have a luxuriant growth, no belly (because i work hard) and be dreaming about how she would feel when I gift her that piece of jewellery! (Reference to ad above) What say Mr Mufaazaa? hair or head? ;)

www.sandylief.blogspot.com