A reason to marry....

Before i start, i would like to confess that i usually do not know whether my post will end up negative or positive when i start writing, because i just let my mind flow on the keyboard. Hence, if this post turns negative (which im sure the topic will make it), i would like to apologize in advance to two of my most ardent fans: Mufaaza & Rooney. 

However, i just heard / saw something that needs to be recorded & discussed, so i shall go on to write it. Your comments are foremost in my mind though.

I was watching Shall we Dance this afternoon. It was not the Patrick Swayze classic, but the 2004 remake starring Jeniffer Lopez & Richard Gere. It was not as intense as the earlier movie by any comparison. 

The point however is:

Gere joins a dance class without telling his wife. The wife & the daughter find him looking increasingly happier everyday. The wife suspects he's having an affair & hires a detective. When she learns he's just learning to dance, she asks the detective to stop the investigation. 

They go on to discuss marriage. The detective remarks she's the romantic type & asks if that is the reason she married. She replies: "Do you think we marry for romance? We don't. We marry so that we may share our daily life with somebody. There are a billion people on this planet & we are just one of them. We marry so that somebody may witness our life, our daily happiness, sorrow, trouble & future. We marry so that we have someone to fall back on, someone to hold on to, when the life is darkest."

While she does not say the rest, i assume it would be: " I am not worried if he's having an affair. But i have married him, and hence i want to know. I want his life to be shared with me, as i want to share mine with him. I am not asking for romance of the youth, i am asking for somebody to be by my side & witness my life. If he gets happiness from somewhere else, he starts avoiding me. The end result is that while he has something or somebody to share his life with, I don't."

Now, that is what her expressions told me. In our busy life today, where we can only manage to meet our partners for a few hours everyday, it is very necessary to share our lives.

The other side of the coin is, not everbody is a romantic. As a result, quite a few people end up marrying for the reason stated in the lady's dialogue: to have a witness to their life. They may have affairs, they may worship work, but they still want to marry: so that they feel wanted somewhere.

Whether this is a result of the nuclear family, or the fast life that we lead; I think its a very serious issue. A friend called me hopelessly romantic. I feel i may be lucky in that sense, atleast im looking for something more than a witness in my life! Whom I finally opt for, can only be limited by my patience to wait.....